Are my letters too curt?

[Lauren81492]

I say,

Dear Mr./Ms. (celebrity's last name),

My name is Lauren and I am 16 years old. (Title) is one of my favorite (movies/shows) and I really enjoy your work in it. I also thought you were really good in (other title).

If it's not too much trouble, could you do me a favor and please send me an autographed picture? I would cherish it forever. Thanks so much in advance!

Sincerely,
Lauren (last name)

This takes up about half a page. I have sent 23 letters like this within the past couple of months and received 4 autographs so far. Reading letter suggestions on here, however, with all the favorite quotes and how they became a fan and what they like to do and all that makes me feel like my letters are kind of inadequate. But then, I don't want to give the celebrity, like, a page and a half to have to read. When I wrote my template I was trying to be polite and appreciative but to the point. Should I modify this letter to make it more gushy and informative? Or is it good like it is? Thanks!

[Jaffer]

I have only written a couple of times (I usually email), however for what it is worth, here is my advice:


While that is a basic template, it does not quite seem long enough. I am not sure if celebrities "prioritize " according to how big a fan is, or if it is first come first served, but I try and go into a bit of detail into why I like them. I am not saying you do this , however given that template, I could write to Scarlett Johanssen and say "Match Point is one of my favourite movies, I also thought you were good in Lost in Translation", even though I have never actually seen a film with her in it. I just think she is stunning, and would like her autograph, if you get my drift.
But that's just me, I am very new to all of this! But your closing line is very sweet

[Lauren81492]

Thanks for your input, Jaffer! Yeah, maybe I should put a line in about why I like them. I'll do that next time. Although I don't think they would skip over a letter because it wasn't gushy enough (at least I hope not), I would like them to know that I'm a real fan.

[EastendersFan]

I think you may have very big handwriting if that takes up half a page lol

I, personally would make your letter longer. Expand on the first paragraph a little about when your talking to them {thumb2}

[Lauren81492]

I think you may have very big handwriting if that takes up half a page lol {thumb2}

Ha ha, well, if you think about squashing all that onto a sheet of notebook paper with the spacing and everything, it takes up a good deal of space. Thanks for your advice, BTW! {thumb2}

[BossC]

Dear Mr./Ms. (celebrity's last name),

My name is Lauren and I am 16 years old. (Title) is one of my favorite (movies/shows) and I really enjoy your work in it. I also thought you were really good in (other title).

If it's not too much trouble, could you do me a favor and please send me an autographed picture? I would cherish it forever. Thanks so much in advance!

Sincerely,
Lauren (last name)

You have a good start:
Go more into WHY you like your (favorite (movies/shows)). I usually tell them my favorite episode/part and ask if they have a favorite.

Hope this helps {thumb2}

BossC

[Lauren81492]

Its no wonder you've had only 4/23 replies if you've been sending that.

The earliest one I sent out was not even two months ago. This is a relatively short amount of time to wait for a reply. Anyway, the majority of them were to the cast of Lost, which isn't even filming now.

Other than that, you've given me great constructive criticism. Thanks for the input.

[lizane]

Hi Lauren81492!

Just ignore "Andy", he's just here to be rude to others.

Anyways, I agree with the others - it's a bit short, but it's still nice. {thumb2} Perhaps you can just elaborate a bit more in your first paragraph about the person's work. Also, you could make a second paragraph in which you give just a quick description of yourself - meaning, what do you do (school, job, etc.), your hobbies or anything else you'd like to say about yourself so the person reading your letter can sort of "get to know you".

Hope this helps, and good luck with the other requests! {thumb2}

[jasonw3]

No offence, but it's way too short
Also, make it more natural. The template of your letter at the moment is similar to the below:

-I am a big fan
-This is my favourite movie
-Can I have your autograph

Just my suggestions.

Good Luck,
Jason.

[Trottersfan]

It dosen't have to be too long, but a bit longer than what you currently write.

Most celebrities don't read their mail anyways, and a secretary just scans through it, so it dosen't matter too much, but if you make it a bit longer, It makes them think you are not a dealer!

Rob.